I miss my dad more than usual lately.

I mean, obviously I always miss him.

But I go through my periods where I think about him more often than I'd like to.

I guess it's mainly when I've got something big going on in my life,

and then I think to myself how much I know he'd love to be there for it.

I know he'd LOVE Josh.

He'd be so stoked on me getting my dream job at MAC.

Plus whenever there's a holiday it just sinks in.

At Thanksgiving, Christmas, and I just had my 20th birthday.

I just can't believe I have so many more big events to come in my life, and he won't be there for any of them.

Life is so so unfair.

I wonder when I'll be enough for an individual.

It seems that in most of my relationships,

whether it be a friendship or something more,

I'm never enough.

Obviously as humans have more than one person in our life that we feel to be necessary.

But I'm constantly in competition with those that are out of reach.

The ones that don't care as much as I do, or live in another state, ect ect ect.

I just can't wait for someone that gets stoked on the sole fact that I love them ridiculously and would do anything for them.

Instead of constantly looking for the affection of someone else.